Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A Wonderful E-mail

Yay for long holiday weekends!!! Yesterday my boss sent me the most awesome e-mail I've received in a really long time! Since I really can't e-mail it to some of the people that read my blog, I thought I would just post it! Hope you enjoy!!

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance,

I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,

and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,

both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back

or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,

and attentiveness from one person

and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".

"God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust

that I would get guidance about my life.

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings

and mercies be upon you on this day and every day.

May you abide in God as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead

and to guide you through each season of your life.

And I Hope You Dance!!!!!!!!

Now if you've read my previous blog, you'll know how well this fits into my life right now. I gave it all over to God, and now we can dance!!!!!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Giving it ALL to God

I've been an emotional wreck the last few days. Here it is 12:30 in the morning and I'm still up! Anyone that knows me, knows I think everyone should be in bed asleep by 9:30 at the latest. Let me give you a little background history so you can better understand what is going on in my head. My oldest daughter, Alexis, was diagnosed with Dyslexia when she was in the first grade. She had to retake first grade. It absolutely broke my heart that she didn't pass to the second grade! I felt like such a failure. I've always thought of her as being perfect and having above average intelligence! She's wonderful in math, but anything to do with reading is really hard for her. She's in third grade this year. Last year at the end of the year we had an "ARD" meeting. We, as a group, decided that Alexis would need more one-on-one time. She was currently receiving 90 minutes a day. She now has someone who is able to come in the room and help her anytime she wants or needs it. She's actually gone to other "special" classes more than she's in her classroom. She goes to Dyslexia, Reading, Lab, and spends "spelling" time with another teacher. She does however get to go to lunch, P.E., and music with her class. I know it's not her fault that she has such a hard time with school, but sometimes I get so frustrated helping her sound out words that most first graders are able to read with no problem. I never intentionally say anything about how frustrating it is around her. But of course she is able to sense my frustration and I know she hears me talk to my sister about it all the time. Here in Texas, all 3rd graders have to take the TAKS test and pass it to be promoted to the 4th grade. I have been stressing about this so much! Now that you have some background info...

This past Thursday morning Alexis and I got into an argument over some stupid candy canes. I told her to put them in her backpack twice but she never did it. As we were about to leave to go to school, I saw them sitting on the kitchen table. I told her since she was unable or unwilling to do as I asked she would not be allowed to take the candy canes to school. Instead her cousin Kalista could take them to her class. After Jennifer talked to me, Alexis got to take them to school, but we still left each other that day angry with one another. I've been so stressed with the whole TAKS test, I haven't really been very nice to be around! So on our way to work (my sister and I carpool) my sister and I started talking about what was bothering me. She made me realize that a lot of the problem is ME! Alexis can so tell when I'm frustrated! So she of course, being the wonderful child she is, tried harder which makes it harder on her so I in return get even more frustrated!!! It's just a horrible cycle that never ends. My sister told me that I have to have FAITH in Alexis! And instead of concentrating on what she can't do, I should praise her more when she is able to read something. Even if she doesn't get it right, just let her know how proud of her I am for at least trying!

Like most people I really didn't want to hear what she had to say. I thought to myself "Easy for her to say, she doesn't have to worry about this kind of stuff" right then when I was thinking that, I thought "Yes she does! She worries about Xander all the time!" (Xander, her son, has been diagnosed with a slight case of autism) OK so I felt bad for thinking that, but I still didn't want to hear it. Later that day we had a hearing in my office. Now just picture this: You're sitting in a waiting room waitinf for the Judge to call you back about your eviction hearing and the Court Clerk keeps smiling at her, but is crying! Yeah I just totally lost it. I kept praying God would have mercy on this young woman and her children. I've NEVER felt like crying while praying before. So that really freaked me out too. I usually don't feel bad for people when they come in for eviction hearings, but this time I just felt totally different.

The rest of the day was pretty emotional for me! Until I realized what I had to do! I had to give everything over to God! I don't need to worry about the TAKS test! I'm not saying I'm not going to practice with Alexis, but I have FAITH in God! I also have faith in Alexis, I know in my heart even if she doesn't pass the TAKS test she tried her hardest. And what more can a mother ask?

I really and truly feel like a huge burden has been lifted off of my shoulders! I'M FREE!!!! God is so great!

I will continue to pray for Alexis and would appreciate it if you would too!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Grocery Store Madness

OK so my wonderful sister and I are having to share a vehichle right now because I can't use mine, so we take turns staying at my house one night then hers one night. It works out really well for us! Well last night we were going to stay at my house, so a friend of my sister's said they would give her a ride over there so I could go to the store to pick up some groceries. Our two oldest kids rode with my sister and the two youngest rode with me. (Pictured above. Both are four years old) Well when we get to the store we go to the produce department, my daughter, Anoe, (who talks all the time) starts asking why am I getting the stuff I'm getting. What's the name of this, and that and just being her normal hyper self. As we go to get the lunch meat she spots the lunchables! In her world the only thing better than having a lunchable for dinner is to eat cereal. Well I'm picking out what lunch meat we need for dinner and she's asking (over and over again) if she can have a lunchable. I say no, so she gets down on her knees and clasps her hands together like she's praying and starts saying please, please, please, please with the biggest smile ever. Now if you're not used to this, you'd probably give in but seeing how she does this over everything (and I am the Mom) I'm immune to such behavior. OK so we get away fromt the lunch meat and move on to the cheese, she sees the sticks of cheese that are individually wrapped and of course wants it, I tell her no we can buy a block of cheese and cut them ourselves and save money. She just gives me "the look" which means whatever Mom. Now this whole time my nephew, Xander, is in the shopping cart asking to get out. I keep telling him no. And Anoe wants in, but anybody that knows her knows that she's way bigger than most four year olds so there's really not enough room in the cart. So to keep her happy I let her start to push the cart. Xander starts asking "What about me Tia?" So I tell him I'll get the stuff off the shelf, give it to him, and he can put it in the cart. I think it's a really good idea! I handed him a GLASS jar of Mayo. He tells me it isn't his so he just lets go. I'm scrambling to catch the jar before it hits the floor and explodes! Now I'm thinking all we need are chips and some dip and we can leave, easy enough right? NO!!!! With Anoe pushing the cart and Xander standing up doing his "surfing" moves we try to make it to the chip aisle. There's a Santa on top of the frozen food aisle that constantly waves and moves side to side. Anoe starts yelling "Santa Santa! Hi Santa!" over and over of course. She doesn't do this in a nice inside voice either, oh no she's yelling so loud the people in the parking lot probably heard her. Hanging from the ceiling the store has advertisements hanging. One has an older lady holding fruit or something and Xander starts pointing at the picture saying Grandma, the next one has another lady and Xander says Mom! But now remember this whole time that Anoe is pushing the cart, I have my hand on the front to guide, and Xander is "grocery cart surfing". Anoe decides all of the sudden with no warning what-so-ever to just jump on the cart so I'm trying my best to drag it around the store with one child surfing in it and the other hanging on it like a monkey. Finally to the chip aisle, I get the Pickle chips Anoe has been wanting and get some other ones that my sister told me she likes and we go to get the dip. We make it out of both areas without any kind of disaster! YAY!!! I get in the shortest line, there's only one cart in front of me so I thought we'd get done super quick! Oh no, there were three people in line but they were just holding their stuff in their hands. (It's kind of a weird set up) So I figure instead of fighting with Xander to keep him in the cart why not just let him get out. Except he starts "break dancing" in the middle of the aisle! People are actually having to move so they don't hit him walking by! While Xander is break dancing, Anoe sees a box of Vanilla Wafers with an advertisement for a CD on the box. For some reason only known to her this is just hilarious! She's laughing so loud people are staring at her. I keep telling them both to come stand next to me and behave, so the come over there with me only to try and sit on the coke display! There's not enough room for both of them so Xander tries to squeeze in, then climb behing some of the sodas. They start leaning over like they're fixing to fall. Thankfully I'm able to get them off of the display before they do all fall over. The soda display has a big hole in the front where people can leave food they would like to donate to the food bank. Anoe starts looking over the edge to see what all is in there. Of course Xander wants to see too, but he's way shorter than Anoe (see photo above) so he's trying to climb on the soda display to look over but the display is made out of 20 oz sodas that are in the form of a six pack. Very unstable for a person to climb on! Finally I'm done paying and we're out the door. The young lady that sacks the groceries also takes them to the car for us. Anoe turns around and asks "Why is she following us?" I just want to get in the blooming car and leave!!! But of course I still have to fight with trunk so it will open. I don't usually have to fight with it, but Anoe was "helping" the grocery store lady open it so I'm sure that had something to do with it. With all the bags in the car and everyone safely in we finally get to go home!! YAY we made out alive and in one piece!!! I'll remember next time to leave the younger kids at home and take the big girls! (Yeah I've said that so many times its crazy!)