Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I recently finished reading two really good books. The first one I finished Saturday evening and the second one I just finished this morning. They're both written by Khaled Hosseini. The first was The Kite Runner and the second was A Thousand Splendid Suns. They were both extremely good, but extremely hard to read. Not in the sense that the words were hard, but emotionally hard. The Kite Runner was a lot easier to read, but really opened my eyes to what the Afghanistan people have had to go through over the last 30 years. I always thought that all Afghans hated Americans. Like they were taught to hate us from the time they were babies. And they were all in favor of the Taliban. I know this is so untrue now. There's innocent men, women, and children dieing over there. And some of the people that joined the Taliban really didn't believe in what they were doing, but joining the Taliban when they first took over Afghanistan was the only way for many of them to feed their families. I know it's horrible for me to say that I thought they were all anti-America, but I really had never thought about all the innocent lives that were being lost over there. A Thousand Splendid Suns was so extremely hard for me. I can't even tell you how many times I cried while reading it. What these women have had to endure, saddens me so much. It really helps put into perspective just how great we have it here in America! I get upset/depressed because I'm struggling to make ends meet, but these women are struggling to stay alive. Their husbands beat them, starve them, lock them in rooms, just whatever the basically want. So many women were giving their children to orphanages just so their kids could have food and clothes. So many take for granted the freedoms we have. We are so lucky to live in such a great country. I know our country has it's faults, but we(women) don't have to fear for our lives if we have an abusive husband and want to leave. We're just so lucky!

Kids are my weakness! I'm totally not a "kid" person, but I hate seeing or hearing about a child that is hungry or mistreated. I just want to take them home with me and show them that life is not supposed to be that way. They're supposed to worry about stuff at such an early age. I've felt for awhile now that my calling in life is to one day be a foster parent for these kids that need love. I've never really wanted to tell anyone about it because I'm afraid people will think or say that I'm crazy. I'm struggling so much right now with just my two kids. But I really think that if this is God's plan for me, then it will totally happen. Maybe not within the next couple of years, but eventually. Every child needs to know that they're loved, and feel that they're protected.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Doctor's visit

I had a doctor's appointment today. I kept thinking of all kinds of reasons to cancel! I found out a couple of weeks ago that Trish wouldn't be the one to see me today. She's on vacation this week, and she's leaving this particular doctor at the begining of next month anyways. I so do not like change! So of course having to see the other doctor instead of Trish was freaking me out. And I wasn't losing as much weight as I thought I should have been this past month. The first month I lost 15 pounds. And I kept checking myself at Jennifer's and I had only lost 5 pounds this month. I was really upset about this! I was like what's the point here? I'm hungry all the blooming time, I don't really get to eat what I want. And for what? 5 measly pounds? I thought I should be losing 15-20 pounds a month! Well I went in today for my appointment and I have lost another 9 pounds. I was like well OK, I really need to try harder next month. When the doctor came in he told me that my goal should be to lose 4-5 pounds a month so I am doing great! That made me so happy. I'm going to have to come up with a better eating schedule though. There's been a few times that I've only eaten once a day and I went 2 days without eating once. So my new plan is to still eat whatever I want for breakfast, a moderate healthy lunch and either a salad or some fruit at night if I'm hungry. I'm going to buy a whole bunch of healthy snacks to keep at work with me, so when I'm feeling hungry I will have something healthy to snack on instead of gorging on a cheeseburger and fries from Sonic instead of waiting to eat a salad at home. Yes I know Sonic has salads, but seriously why get a salad when a juicy cheeseburger and an order of salty crispy fries could just as easily be ordered? I so don't have that kind of self control. I also plan to start cooking more at home so I don't have to eat out as much during the week. Monday night will still probably we "easy" night. Like the kids will have pizza rolls or kid cuisines after girl scouts, but then hopefully on Wednesday when I get home from Life Group I'll be able to cook something easy and fast for lunch the next day. And make enough so the girls can eat it Thursday night before Anoe goes to girl scouts. Since it's starting to get dark later, Alexis can play at the playground and I'll be able to walk around the makeshift track at the elementary. The real test will be when I'm out at my Mom's house. For some reason I have the hardest time sticking to anything when I'm out there! It's not that they're constantly pushing food on me or anything, I really don't know what it is. No, I think I do actually. My Mom and Symantha are constantly snacking on something. And not healthy stuff. There's always some kind goody laying around. Of course a major reason my kids love being out there! There's always plenty of chocolate.

One more thing I want to work on is my attitude towards Anoe's eating habits. Any time she sees someone else eating or even thinks it's more than an hour since she's eaten she wants to eat! This is totally a bad habit I have taught her. When she was a baby anytime she would cry I would just give her a bottle instead of trying to see if she needed/wanted anything else. And now it's a horrible habit! I'm totally not going to put her on a diet or anything, but I am going to start limiting the amount of food she is allowed to have. It's not the she's really overweight or anything, but I don't want her to have to deal with it later.

OK so if you would please pray for me that I'm able to actually make all these changes in my life that would be great! I don't want these changes to be temporary either, I want this to be a total life change. This is the longest I have ever stuck to a diet plan, and I know it's going to get easier with time! Hopefully anyways.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Anoe for President

This morning when we were watching the news Anoe and I had the funniest conversation!

Anoe: Mom, I wish I could be a prisoner when I grow up.

Me: A prisoner? (I pronounced it slow so she could understand what I was saying)

Anoe: Yes, a prisoner!

Me: A prisoner is someone who has done something wrong, and they have to spend time in prison because they're bad.

Anoe: No! I want to be a prisoner!

Me: Anoe prisoners are usually bad people that live in prison or jail.

Anoe: Then why do vote for them?

Me: Oh! You want to be a President?

Anoe: Yes, that's what I said!

Me: Oh OK, I'm sorry.
Anoe: The only rule I'll make is that everyone can do whatever they want, as long as they aren't bad and kill anyone. And they don't eat a lot of candy because it's not healthy and Mrs. Caffey says you have to eat healthy food.

I told her I would definetly vote for her if she runs for President when she grows up. Eating healthy food is very important, and hey as long as you don't kill anyone you'll do just fine!