Being Blessed

Lately I have really been struggling with some stuff. It's been pretty bad. I've even been questioning why I attend church and a bunch of other stuff. In the end I always know God is good and loves me! Sometimes it just doesn't seem that way. When I start feeling super down and start asking why did God forget me, I think of other people and their situations and realize that God has not forgotten me. There are so many worse situations that I could be in! For example, I could still be with Anoe's dad. Yes that would mean that I am not single, but that would also mean I am in a horribly ugly relationship. I know it's better to be single than in that type of relationship, but dang it right now I just want a freakin' boyfriend! It doesn't even have to be serious, just someone to hang out with.

So, like I said I'm dealing with a lot of emotional stuff right now. A couple of weeks ago I realized that I had not even held hands with a man even once during the last year. Yes I held hands with a couple of different men while praying, but I mean I haven't held a man's hand in an intimate way in over a year!!!! That was really messing with me. Instead of being upset about it, I prayed that God would help me and be my strength through all this. One night I cried for at least an hour telling God how much I loved him and how much I needed him. It was actually so freeing! It was amazing.

Today is the day I have been dreading for a few weeks, it's my birthday. I just knew it was going to be a horrible day. But I woke up in a pretty good mood. As good of a mood that can be accomplished at 5:40 in the morning after having a restless nights sleep anyways. As soon as I woke the girls up this morning, they ran into the living to get my presents that they wrapped for me last night. Anoe have me a 4 pack of Trident gum and a box of Sweetheart candies (she picked out her gifts all by herself), and Alexis gave me a black wire bowl I told her I wanted for my coffee table! It was awesome. I received 2 text messages this morning wishing me a happy birthday then when I got to work, Roy (my boss) gave me a card full of post its!!!! It was perfect. I love post its! He got me 6 pads! And they're all cool colors and some of them have cute little flowers!

At lunch Jennifer and I went to Abilene to meet up with Cherry, Brandi, and Rachel for lunch. We ate at Jason's Deli, which was amazing! Cherry bought me a lemon cake (one of my favorite deserts) and wrought iron cross, and gave me 2 CD's. Brandi gave me a card that made me cry! I felt so blessed! And loved!

This has seriously been the best birthday ever! I think the only thing that could of made this birthday any better would be if it were cloudy and rainy! Oh wait! Clouds are starting to build up around Clyde! I even just heard some thunder! I'm so God's favorite today!!!