Worship

This past Sunday at church we didn't have a sermon. We only had worship time! I loved it so much. I love when Bryan preaches, but I really needed this extra worship time this week. I've been struggling with some emotional stuff this past week and all that extra worship on Sunday so helped.

It's really hard for me to open with people. Usually Jennifer is the only person that really and truelly knows what I'm feeling. It was even hard to open up to her about this.

My "girl" doctor put me on birth control pills to try to regulate some "girl" problems I've been having. I'm only supposed to have to take the pills for one month. I've been on the pills for 2 & 1/2 weeks now. My emotions are out of control! One minute I'm happy, the next I'm angry. It's just crazy. Well last week I started feeling like I didn't want anything to do with my children. Now if you know me, you know how much I love my kids. They're everything to me. But I was feeling like I didn't want them around me, I didn't want them talking to me. It was getting pretty bad. I was even thinking about calling their dad's and telling them they needed to take the girls for a couple of weeks. I needed a break! It's so unrealistic to think either of my kids could really go stay with their dads. The girls and I are always snuggling with each other, but I didn't even want them hugging me. Well Saturday I was talking to my Mom about how I was feeling and I totally had an emotional break down. My Mom is usually not very good with the "let me hug you and make you feel good thing", but she was awesome this time. She held me, let me cry all I wanted, and just listened to me. She even offered to take the girls for a while. I said no, but I really did not want the girls around me. I don't like being mean to them!

Well on the ride home from Sweetwater, I just started praying that God would help me with these emotions. I started feeling better right away! By the time we had gotten home, the girls and I had made plans to watch Santa Clause 1 & 2 together that night. We snuggled, tickled each other, and just had a lot of fun. I'm still struggling with my emotions being all out of whack, but I refuse to be mean or unhappy with my kids. They're both so awesome. And thanks to my wonderful sister, I had a night alone with Anoe last night, and I'm having a night alone with Alexis tonight.

Good Morning Baltimore

There are times that I seriously wonder if Jennifer really does love me. I mean I know she does because we're sisters, but does she really CARE about me and what I feel? For example, she doesn't mind pointing out that I really don't know how to fix my hair very well. Or a couple of weeks ago when I was having a really stressful morning, she so nicely pointed out that I would look so much better if I were to put some make up on. All those doubts I had, are so out the window now! My ringer when I call Jennifer the song "Good Morning Baltimore" from the Hairspray soundtrack plays! I love that song. I'm always singing and dancing to it. OK well I do it a lot at home where no one can see me acting crazy. But anyways, Jennifer knows how much I enjoy the song. So at least for now I have no doubt that she loves me for how cool I am.

Nothing really

I really don't have anything to blog about, but I'm in an extremely good mood! I love days like today. The weather is cold and it's cloudy and kind of dreary looking outside. I just love it. I finally got my check from BCRAC Monday. I am way pumped about that.

This past Monday at our Girl Scout meeting I talked to the girls about sending a care package to a soldier that has little to no support. The girls LOVED this idea. What's even better is that the parents LOVED the idea. Some of the parents actually talked in length to me about this. There have only been two of the mom's/grandmothers speak to me more than just to say hi, what does she need to bring, and bye. Everyone is excited about this. And this gets to count as our service project which is extremely awesome. Anyways, Monday night the girls made the soldier we're sending stuff to some cards. They're all awesome. And today I mailed them off along with a package of goodies for another soldier that my girls I are wanting to support while he is gone. I was told by Ann that they should be coming home in late January. I would really like our troop to take on another soldier to send packages to even after these soldiers are home safely.

Oh and yesterday was a day that could of put me in overload! (Please also notice the lack of exclamation marks in this post Jennifer) Anyways, 3 GOOD movies came out on DVD yesterday. Harry Potter, Lost Season 3, and High School Musical 2. I love them all. My girls are giving my Lost Season 3 for Christmas so I'll definitely have to go buy it this week while it's still on sale. Why do they have to release good movies so close to Christmas? I'm sure it's all in their evil plan to make us spend more money. But they're not going to make me. Oh no, I have self control.......until I get to the store and see the sale price anyways. I'll at least try not to buy them. OK well I'll try not to think about them. Oh who am I kidding? I'm so buying them. I'll just give Anoe High School Musical 2 for a Christmas present and Alexis Harry Potter. Now they're justifiable buys. Yay me!!!

Weird stuff

Anoe has this really weird habit of saying good bye to inanimate objects when she has to leave them. Whatever little toy she brings in the morning for the drive to school, she literally has to kiss it good bye before she gets out of the car. Well this past weekend I was actually child free for awhile. I went to Target to get some laundry soap and stuff while the girls were gone. While there I decided I would go ahead and get us all new toothbrushes. Alexis needed a new one because she didn't like the one the dentist gave her and I've been a really bad Mom and haven't gone to the store to get her a new one. (OK so really I'm not a bad Mom, but it really is hard for me to remember to get a toothbrush for her when no one else needs one.) So anyways, I went ahead and just got all of us a new one because it's so much easier to remember to pick up three toothbrushes in March than to pick two up in February and one in March. Sunday when I told the girls they each have new toothbrushes Anoe was excited because her new one has Dora on it. (again) I took the old ones and was about to throw them in the trash when Anoe said "No wait! I have to say something first." I was like OK whatever. She laid them all down on the counter and picked up my toothbrush first and said "Good bye Mommy toothbrush" and gave it a kiss. Then she got Alexis' toothbrush and said "Good bye sissy toothbrush" gave it a kiss and did the same thing to hers. When she was done I just grabbed them and threw them in the bathroom trash can like it was no big deal. Anoe totally looked sad and told me she was sad that I threw them away. To make her happy I told her she could open her new toothbrush and brush her teeth if she wanted. She smiled really big and said OK. As far as I know she hasn't thought about the old toothbrushes again. This kid is so full of love, sometimes it's a little freaky.

Growing Up

Everyone is talking about how much their kids are growing up. I'm trying super hard to ignore all the "signs" of Alexis getting older. Every time I turn around though it's being thrown in my face! Seriously can't she just be OK with being my little girl forever? Is that really so much to ask? I mean I did extremely well when we had to go buy some training bras. (Don't tell Alexis I told you about that. She gets embarrassed when I talk about that.) I even took it in stride when she was having friends call her and they would talk for long periods of time. And laugh over nothing. I was OK with all of this. Kind of anyways. Yesterday Alexis informed me that she was invited to go skating this Friday with her friend Hayley from school. Tuesday was Hayley's birthday and instead of a birthday party she wanted to go skating with some of her friends. I was totally OK with this. I called Hayley's Mom to confirm that Alexis would be allowed to go. Her Mom said Alexis could stay the night with them since we live in Abilene and it would be hard for me to come back out here to get Alexis when the were done skating. I asked her when she thought they would be done and the Mom said "I was planning on picking them up from the skating rink around 10." My little brain had a really hard time comprehending this statement. I just told the Mom that I would be able to pick her up but thank you for offering to let her stay the night. When we got off the phone it took me awhile to realize that Alexis had been invited to her first "girls night". The girls were going to be dropped off at the skating rink. As in the Mom's were not supposed to stay and make sure nothing bad happened to them. What if there was a horrible stampede accident and Alexis got ran over. Who would be there to make sure she was OK? Who would be able to dry her tears and give her hugs and kisses in case she got hurt?

After talking to Jennifer about this today, I'm pretty sure I will allow Alexis to go. And no I will not be hiding in the shadows watching her. Alexis really does deserve to have some big girl time without Anoe around. And since she's started school in Clyde she really hasn't been able to hang out with any of her friends. When she used to go to Taylor, she would stay the night with her friend Shaq and they would go walk around the mall or something fun like that.

Please pray that my heart is able to take Alexis pulling away from me and becoming a young lady instead of a little girl. I'm so blessed that she's being raised totally differently than Jennifer and I were. I don't have to worry about her doing any of the things I was doing at her age.

Stuff

It's really been awhile since I last posted. Not that much has really been going on. I LOVED the snow we got for Thanksgiving. My kids and I went outside and had a snow ball fight Sunday afternoon. We had so much fun. I'll try to get the pictures posted as soon as possible.

This past Saturday Anoe and I went out to Sweetwater to help my Mom with the Gooney Golf Course they're making. I have to say this is one of the best memories I have of spending time with my Mom. Usually my Mom is kind of mean and I really don't like spending a lot of time around her. Especially if Symantha's not there to keep her under control. Anoe and I got there about noon and we went straight to the lot where my Mom was doing something. After about an hour or so Symantha called and asked if I would mind bringing Anoe over so Anoe could help her get all the Christmas decorations out of the attic. So I took Anoe over to Symantha and went back to the lot with my Mom ALL BY MYSELF! Yeah I was pretty nervous about how things would end up. At least with Anoe there I was able to be sidetracked most of the time so I couldn't get my feelings hurt or anything by my Mom. When I got back my Mom and I just started hanging the plywood and putting insulation up and all kinds of cool stuff. We had so much fun! It was great. We got A LOT of work done and had a good time. During our breaks we talked about all kinds of things. Nothing deep or life changing, but just about everyday stuff. I really feel like I know a whole other side of my Mom now. And I'm totally excited about this new side of her. I'm seriously looking forward to going back out there weekend after next. There's also a church in Sweetwater that my Mom wants to try out, and I'm going to go with her weekend after next.

My cousin Audrey who I have posted about before got saved about a month ago and this past Sunday she was baptized at the church she attends in Sweetwater. Jennifer and I went church with my cousin and aunt Sunday so we could watch the baptism. It was so great! I'm so happy that my cousin has given her life to the Lord!

One other thing. I really need prayers! Before I got this job working for the J.P. here in Clyde, I was the admin assistant for Big Country Regional Advisory Council. Pretty much we handled federal money and divided it up between all the different counties in the Big Country. When I left BCRAC they asked if I would still do the website for $125 a month. I said yes and this past summer they raised the amount I get paid to $225 a month. I still have not received payment for the work I did in October though. I've emailed the Executive Coordinator several times, and he's left me a message on my phone saying he would get the check out right away. That was last Monday though. And I still haven't seen the check and he won't respond to my emails. I really don't know what to do. So if you could please pray that this situation resolves it self soon that would be great!

Embarrassing Moments

This actually happened a really long time ago but it's pretty embarrassing! Some of the details are a little fuzzy but I remember enough to relay the funny part. This happened like 9 years ago!! OK so anyways, Jennifer and I were trying to follow her boyfriend. I was driving and we were in Sweetwater. Well he came to a stop sign, and stopped then went on across the street. Well, since we were trying to catch him I went through the stop sign. A few blocks later I got pulled over. When the officer came to the window to get all the usual information. He asked me if I knew why he had pulled me over. Me being the horrible criminal I am, told him because I ran the stop sign back there? He said no. So I tried again, because my registration is out. Again the answer was no. He finally asked "What is your sister doing that you're not doing?" I said looking in the glove compartment for the insurance. I'm pretty sure by this time he either thought I was retarded or seriously blonde! He kind of rolled his eyes and said no again! I was like dang what in the world is wrong with this guy?!?!?! So finally Jennifer says wearing a seat belt. So in turn I asked him if wearing a seat belt was what he meant. Finally I guessed the right answer. I can't remember for sure but I don't think he gave me a ticket for all the extra stuff I told him I had done wrong.

Something silly about me

You know how something really small can make you feel just a little bit happier? Sometimes it's something that someone else doesn't even notice or care about. Well, I get these jokes e-mailed to me from Beliefnet. Well after you click on the link to read the actual joke there's this little face on the original e-mail that winks at you. I seriously wait for it to wink before I push the delete button. I mean I know it winks at everyone, but it makes me feel special. Like they sent me a special e-mail with a good clean joke. I know this sounds silly and weird but I really enjoy it. Some other people had posted a couple of weeks ago about some things they did that was a little weird. And I've been trying to think of something I'm not scared to let everyone know about. I don't want to scare off anyone with some of the things I say/think/do! Believe me Jennifer knows what I'm talking about. I seriously say/think/do some crazy weird stuff sometimes.

Nuts About Wildlife

That is the "theme" for the Girl Scouts nut sale this year. We officially start selling nuts on Thursday the 1st. It's kind of exciting. So I'm going to list what we're selling and the price in case anybody wants to buy something. (And because I'm extremely bored!)

Honey Roasted Peanuts (30 oz) $8.00
Peanut Brittle (8 oz) $7.00*
Mint Trefoils (6 oz) $7.00*
Whole Cashews (8 oz) $6.00
Choc. Cvrd. Almonds (10 oz) $6.00
Deluxe Mixed Nuts (8 oz) $6.00
Pecan Supremes (5 oz) $5.00
Double Dipped Choc. Cvrd. Peanuts (10 oz) $5.00
Butter Toffee Peanuts (10 oz) $4.00
Peanut Squares (9 oz) $4.00
Malted Milk Balls (8.75 oz) $4.00
Spicy Cajun Mix (7 oz) $4.00

*The Peanut Brittle and Mint Trefoils (my favortie) come in cute little tins. The Peanut Brittle is in a tin with snowmen on the front and the Mint Trefoils are in a Limited Edition Collector's Tin to celebrate the 95th anniversary of Girl Scouts. OK so that's all the news I have on the Girl Scout front. Hope to have something exciting to tell you about soon.

Child Support

Last Friday I was sitting at home watching Hannah Montana with the girls when Ms. Judy brought in the mail. She said I had a check. I was like what? A check? Who in the world could be sending me a check and how did she know. Well when I looked, it was a child support check! I was so excited! I was just thinking about some stuff I really needed but really didn't have the money for it all. I was trying to decide what we could do without and what we absolutely had to have. So here I am looking at this child support check, and I'm thanking God for sending me an answer to my prayer! Well I open it up to see how much it is. It is in the amount of $1.00! A freaking dollar. What the heck?!?! What is the point? I mean seriously, it cost more to print and send that check to me. I was so upset! I called Jennifer and told her about it and when we got off the phone I started praying again. I finally was just like whatever. If a dollar is all he (I had no idea if it was from Alexis or Anoe's dad) can afford to send that is fine. We'll be OK. I asked the girls if they wanted to go play at the playground so I could walk and of course they were excited about that. So here I am walking at a nice fast walk, my heart is beating fast, I'm starting to feel pretty good and Anoe's dad calls. He asked what I was doing and if I wanted to meet him at Target so he could buy Alexis a Halloween costume. I told him that the costume Alexis wanted was at Wal-Mart. So he said he would meet us there. She got to pick out the costume she really wanted but I wasn't willing to spend $20.00 on an outfit she would only wear a couple of times. He also got Anoe a new pair of shoes which she really needed! I was so happy he called and actually followed through with what he said he would do. Next Friday he's supposed to buy Alexis a jacket.

The Best Boss EVER!!!!

OK so I know I've said plenty of times that I have the best boss ever. But let me reiterate this fact of life. A while back I mentioned that Chicken Express had the best sweet tea in all of Abilene. It's super sweet, just the way I like it. I mean you can practically feel the sugar going down. That's how sweet it is. I love it! Well today Roy had a doctor's appointment, he had some polyps removed from his nose. On his way back to Clyde, he stopped and got me a sweet tea from Chicken Express! I'm just so blessed to have such an awesome boss!

Lots and lots of stuff

It seems like so much has happened since the last time I posted, but yet nothing has happened! So I'll just start naming things as they come to mind.

Last Wednesday (October 10)I went to the doctor for these headaches I had been having for about a week and a half. Let me tell you, they were making me a very mean person! My head was hurting so bad I was constantly irritated which of course meant the girls were in trouble ALL the time! Poor kids. Lucky for them I didn't even feel up to giving out pops. Seriously I'm glad I didn't. I was mad for stupid stuff, stuff that they're supposed to do. Like oh I don't know, asking me to help them with homework or washing their hair while they're in the shower. Yeah it was pretty bad. But Trish really helped. I got 3 shots and had some blood drawn. I didn't have a single headache yesterday! I was so happy!!! And I was in such a good mood. I also went to see Dr. Sloan for a foot problem on Wednesday. Nothing exciting there.

On Sunday the 7th, I was blessed at church by a really awesome friend with money to cover my co-pay at both doctor's appointments. That was awesome!

Girl Scouts are going pretty good. Jennifer and I have devised a plan for Thursdays! I'm super excited to start our new schedule. Anoe has Girl Scouts from 6:15 to 7:15 every Thursday. Instead of me having to stay in town until 7:15, Jennifer is going to pick up Anoe every Thursday and Anoe will stay the night with her. That will give me one night a week to spend alone with Alexis (or Rochelle as she is now known to all her friends at school). I have been so busy lately, this is really going to help!

I found out last week that next year I will be in Galveston for Court Clerk school in the middle of May. Which just so happens to be the week of Alexis' birthday. So I'm going to Galveston for school from May 13th to May 16th. I get out of school at noon on the 16th. Jennifer is going to bring all the kids down with her on the 16th and we're going to spend Alexis' birthday at the beach!!! In case you missed the post where I said I LOVED the beach, well I seriously loved it! I really think I need to move closer to the beach. I'm really hoping God will make a way for me to move closer to the beach instead of Clyde next summer.

We were in the parade for the Pecan Festival here in Clyde. It was actually a lot of fun. We got together Friday evening at Jennifer's to decorate the float. Almost all the girls in my troop showed up to help decorate. The girls really are sweet. I think I actually might learn some stuff from them as well as them learning from me.

The last thing I can think of is the best and most important! I seriously believe I'm God's favorite in the entire world!!! I love raining/foggy weather. This has been the year for rain and fog! It's almost 2:00 and it's still cloudy outside. It's not to hot, really it hasn't been that hot at all this year. I love this weather! So in my book, God is really loving on me this year!!!

Girl Scouts sell nuts?

Yeah, who knew the girl scouts sell nuts? I sure didn't! Of course everyone knows about the most delicious cookies we will sell in January, but nuts? Come on!!! Anyways, last night was our weekly troop meeting. Three girls showed up last night that had not shown up the previous week. One of the little girls "A" was super awesome. She was helpful, she listened. She was just awesome. Girl "C" I think has a few problems. She was really hard to understand and very immature for her age. But she was super sweet too. She even made me a snowflake! Girl "M"....... well lets just say Girl "M" is the type of child that makes me not want to do this whole Troop Leader thing. But I am NOT a quitter, so by the end of the year I bet she'll be my favorite girl. (OK not really but I'm really trying hard to convince myself) OK, so back to the meeting. We split the girls up into two groups, I had one group of girls with me in the kitchen making blender drinks while the other group was with Rene making grilled cheese sandwiches. The first group to make their drinks, put ice cream, chocolate syrup, honey roasted nuts, whipped topping, and bananas in it. The second group put ice cream, chocolate syrup, honey, whipped topping, strawberries, and sprinkles in theirs. I didn't try either one but I'm pretty sure they were a little to sweet! But hey they're kids and I didn't have to keep them all night.

After the troop meeting, there was a Nut training and Area service meeting. We were supposed to be done by 8:00 which is OK, I'd still get home before 9:00 and be able to spend a little bit of time with Anoe before we went to bed. Oh no!!! I left the meeting at 9:00. They weren't done yet but I told them I had to go because my "babysitter" thought I would be there to pick up Anoe by 8:30. (Jennifer had Anoe and she didn't care how late it was. Anoe was really good for her.) Some of the meeting was really good and informative, but the last 30 - 45 minutes they were only talking about Girl "M" that is in my troop. They've had some other problems with her trying to take over the younger girls troop meeting. I just kept thinking to my self that I just repented the night before for thinking stuff that I should not think about people. This was so not helping. And Alexis was there with me so she heard everything that was said. I do know that Girl "M" was annoying last night during our meeting, but I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the way she is being brought up. Nobody raises their children the same way. We'll just have to work on teaching what type of behavior is allowed in the Girl Scout Hut.

So on November 1 we will start selling nuts. I have the brochure and all already. I'll post stuff about the actual sell when November 1 is a little closer. Oh and one other thing. Anybody that knows me very well, knows how much I LOVE order and organization. Well the Girl Scout Hut is the most unorganized and dirty place ever! I plan on spending one whole meeting on cleaning and organizing the place in the next couple of weeks! Oh how I love to organize! I'm super excited about this!!!

Love/Hate Relationships

We all have Love/Hate relationships! You Love to Hate them and Hate to Love them. UGH!!! Why oh why do we have to have these types of relationships? Why can't everything just be beautiful and perfect with pink flowers everywhere? OK so that was a little much, but you get the idea. I have a Love/Hate relationship with repentance. I love it because I'm getting closer and closer to God and it feels so good to repent of something and start over with a new slate! But I hate it because I really don't prefer to admit when I'm wrong or when my thinking has been wrong.

Well, the sermon on Sunday showed me some stuff that was wrong in my thinking. I felt so convicted! And I have since repented to both of the people involved. Jennifer, my beautiful sister and Laura, a lady that lives across the hall from me. I felt really good after I repented to Laura! I now know my thinking was so wrong! And I have changed my thinking of the situtation.

Cheap Fun

Last Friday when I was shopping for a birthday present for Kalista I saw some glow in the dark nail polish they had out for Halloween. I bought some so the girls could paint their nails on Halloween. Well last night Anoe found it and wanted her nails to be green. I tried to explain to her that her nails wouldn't be green, they would actually glow in the dark. She thought that would be the best thing ever. So I was like whatever, let's do this. So I painted both of the girls finger nails and their toe nails as well as my finger nails. We turned off all the lights in my room but it wasn't dark enough yet so we all got in my closet and wiggles our fingers at each other. After awhile it got a little cramped in the closet so we decided to go to the bathroom. It was so much fun. The girls would take turns dancing around while we watched their feet and hands glow in the dark. We would have to turn the lights on every once in awhile so polish could re-absorb some light. We stayed in there for almost an hour playing! The girls had so much fun! And it was a really cheap fun thing to do! The polish only cost $1.67 +tax! Clean, honest, cheap fun! How much better does it get?

One Year Anniversary

Today is my one year anniversary for working as a Court Clerk in Callahan County! I'm so excited about this. Last night I was thinking about how much I have changed in the last year. One short year ago today I was scared and nervous and didn't really think I could do this job. Now I'm pretty confident in the answers I give and answering questions. Even dealing with the people that aren't very nice. I've learned to just pray for them and not to take it personal. They're really not mad at me, but I am the one they talk to, so I'm the one that has to hear it. I was constantly in Judge Chapman's office asking him questions. It seemed like I was having to ask the same questions over and over again. I still have to ask questions every once in awhile (especially since a whole bunch of new laws just went into effect) but I'm not asking as many as I was before. I didn't think I was going to like my boss, he seemed kind of mean. But now I totally love my boss and his wife! I quickly found out after the lady that was here before left, that my boss is absolutely awesome! He even sent me a rose today and the card read Happy Anniversary. I even called him by his first name instead of Judge Chapman three times today. This was the first time I've ever called him by his first name to his face and I've only called him Roy a couple of times when talking about him to other people. I am so blessed that my sister told me about this job! And my boss is super nice to my kids! Anoe loves him to death!

So, yay me for making it this first year! I'm so excited to see what this next year brings!

Osama bin Laden

I tried to post my feelings about 9/11/01 around 5 or 6 times yesterday. I just couldn't do it. My heart breaks so much when I think what that one day has done to our Country! I remember that I was on my way back to work from dropping off Alexis at pre K. The DJ on the radio station I was on was cracking jokes about it. Of course as more light was shed on the situation all the jokes stopped. I was the manager at the Allsup's on 14th at the time. We were super busy that with everyone buying gas.

Every year I talk with the girls about what happened and why we're at war. And every year I get upset and cry a lot! Yesterday was no exception. Jennifer and I talked about it a little over lunch but she usually doesn't like to talk about that kind of stuff because of how upset I get. We were talking about what an awesome testimony it would be if Osama bin Laden came to knew God! Oh my goodness! I got so excited about the idea of bin Laden developing a relationship with God. How awesomely great would that be? So I decided that I would start praying for him. And not the usual prayer of God please show him what he is doing is wrong or for God to release a plague on him or anything. I mean I actually prayed that his eyes would be open to God and he would see that what he is doing is wrong. It was extremely hard for me to pray for him but I felt really good that I did. Of course I also prayed for all the families that lost loved ones, and the families that have lost loved ones in the war.

Being the leader I never knew I wanted to be

Last night Jennifer and I registered the girls in Girl Scouts. I was thinking it'd be a lot of fun for the girls and a great hook up on some Girl Scout cookies. I wouldn't have to look for someone selling cookies anymore! They would be living in my house! How much better does it get? Oh yeah and they would build life long friendships and learned some stuff or whatever. You know it's really all about the cookies. Well as it turns out about 50% of the girls in Alexis troop are being raised by their grandparents. This makes me sad on two different levels. 1.) What in the heck happened to my generation? Why is it so hard for the men and women my age to grow up and take care of their children? It's not our parents job to raise our children.** Not only is it hurting the kids because they don't have their Mom or Dad, but it's hurting the grandparents as well. The best thing about being a grandparent is that you're supposed to be able to spoil your grandchild and then send them home to wreck havoc! Not have to raise them!!! 2.) I got suckered into being Alexis' troop leader. I know NOTHING about Girl Scouts. Other than the cookie thing. Oh and what I saw on that movie Troop Beverly Hills but I seriously doubt I'll have anything like that happening with my troop. The lady who was the Troop Leader last year was actually Troop Leader of 3 different troops. So needless to say she's cutting back this year. I so don't blame her. She has said she'll help me with whatever I need help with and she's "only a phone call away". We are in Clyde so she seriously could be at my rescue within 2 minutes tops. Please pray that God gives me strength and guidance! I don't want this to be known as the worst year or troop ever because I have no clue what is going on!

Alexis will be a "Junior", Anoe will be a "Brownie", and Kalista will be a "Daisy"! Everyone is excited! I think all in all this is going to be good for them as well as me. I really do want to get involved in the community more, so here's my first step. Just be prepared to buy some Girl Scout cookies whenever it's time!

**Disclaimer - If the parents have passed away or are in the military I totally understand why the grandparents are raising their grandchildren. I just don't understand the ones who think it's more important to get drunk or high than raising their children. But on the other hand it's probably better that they live with their grandparents instead of being abused. I have so many different feelings on this subject!

Labor Day weekend

I was planning on the Labor Day weekend being full of rest and relaxation! I borrowed a book from Jennifer and was planning on reading the entire weekend. Yeah I only got to read a little bit Monday evening.

I woke up around 6:30 on Saturday for some crazy reason. Usually Anoe is up by 7:00 am on the weekends so I thought I would just stay up since she should be waking up soon. She didn't wake up until 9:00!!! That's amazing for Anoe. About 11 o'clock we went to Shoe Carnival so I could get the girls some shoes. There were so many crickets and beetles on the side of the building you couldn't even see the paint! It was the grossest thing ever. I do not like bugs at all. So of course I was seriously rethinking going inside the store. Alexis held one hand and Anoe held my other hand and they walked me in the store. Alexis had to let go of my hand at one point so she could open the door so I didn't have to stop walking at all. I was so freaked out! My friend Laura, that also lives at HHC met me at Shoe Carnival. When I was done we all went to Target. She needed to get her kids some long sleeve shirts and I wanted to get mine some more panties and socks. Target is just down the road from Shoe Carnival and there were NO crickets there. It was crazy. So for lunch we deciced to go to Chili's. I really felt bad for our waiter. He was really being over worked. Or at least that's my excuse for his poor waiting habits. Saturday afternoon I totally rearranged our rooms. I totally changed rooms with the girls! I really like the change so far. For dinner we made homemade pizzas. The girls loved it and it was actually a pretty cheap meal. And so much fun!

After church on Sunday I went and got some chicken and we had a picnic at my house. It was a lot of fun too. Everyone really liked it until the mosquitos came out. Jennifer helped me finish up my room and she took Anoe with her to Clyde for a little while. After I finished my laundry Alexis and I went out to Clyde to hang out with Jennifer and Kalista. (Xander was with his dad.) We came home around 11 o'clock. I thought we would go straight to bed, but Anoe put Are We Done Yet? on and I stayed up until it was over.

My Step-Mom called me pretty early Monday morning so I didn't really get to sleep in but that was ok. We ended up going out to Sweetwater for a little bit. I got to help my brother put trim up around the windows outside. It was pretty fun also.

All in all, we had a really awesome weekend! Hope everyone else did too!

First Week of School

So this week has been an extremely busy week! The girls started school, I was really sick one day, and I've actually been having to do work at work. What the heck? Usually I do a little work, read some blogs, do a little work, do whatever, you know just work at my own pace so I don't run out of stuff to do. I was off Monday for the kids first day, so of course Tuesday was pretty busy. Then on Wednesday morning I started feeling a little nauseous. I felt that way all day. I started actually getting sick later in the day. It was the worse day ever. When I got home I fixed a plate of Pizza Rolls for the kids and when they were done I went to bed. I was asleep by 7:15 pm. I totally expected to wake up to some pretty horrible messes the next morning. But my sweet and kind Alexis picked up ALL the messes Anoe had made! Alexis is so sweet to me when I'm sick.

But on to the first week of school...

Anoe- LOVES school! She's made some new friends and is really enjoying herself. The first couple of days were a little rough after school, but she's getting used to all the new rules and stuff. On the first day of school I picked Anoe up from school and took some pictures of her, then we went to Alexis school so we could pick her up. When Alexis came up we went up to her so I could take some pictures of her too. Anoe was so excited to see her she was hugging her so hard it was hurting Alexis. Alexis tried telling her to stop but Anoe wasn't stopping. So Alexis finally had to push her off and Anoe fell to the ground. Anoe got mad because Alexis had "choked" and pushed her. (Anoe really can be such a drama queen sometimes!) So Alexis wanted me to meet her new friend, but Anoe crossed her arms across her chest and took off running to the car. We parked in the parking lot on the school property but you have to cross the "street" to get to it. Instead of meeting Alexis new friend I had to chase down Anoe and scold her about running out in the street. The next day of after-school wasn't any easier! After the bus drops them off 1/2 a block away they come to my work for snacks and if I can remember to bring "play" clothes they change. On Tuesday after work we all go to the Library since they're open til 6 on Tuesdays. So when the 5 o'clock bells ring Anoe takes off and runs across the street again! Alexis and I are following her so that I can talk to Anoe again about why she shouldn't cross the street without looking and that stuff. Instead of going to the Library Anoe turns the corner to go to Jennifer's house. Alexis and I just keep going to the Library and Anoe follows us when she realizes we're not following her anymore. I make the girls take turns on who will be able to borrow a movie from the Library. The last two times Anoe had got the movie so I told her it was Alexis turn this time but she could get a book if she wanted. She got mad and yelled at me IN THE library! Can I tell you how much that upset me? So I take her outside and Jennifer and her kids are walking up to go to the Library so I ask Jennifer if Alexis can go in with her so she doesn't have to punished for Anoe. I grab Anoe by the hand and we start walking back to my work. By this time Anoe has earned 2 pops and she crying because she doesn't want them and she wants to get a movie. I'm just like whatever just get in the car. Well as I'm getting all of our stuff in the car Anoe goes up on the sidewalk and starts crying even louder. The police station is now located right next to my work, and all the police people on duty come out to see what is going on. I told them it was just my daughter throwing a fit. They thought someone had gotten hurt. I was thinking in my head, "Oh's she's going to be hurt" but of course I didn't say that to him. So anyways, back to the police officer. He's talking to Anoe and asks her if she wants to come in the police station to look at the drug dog. Anoe says yes and in we go. While we're in the police station the Police Chief is asking her questions like what grade is she in, how old is she, does she like school. You know all questions that she should be able to answer easily. Oh no not my Anoe! She keeps shrugging her shoulders and saying I don't know. She kept trying to touch stuff on the secretary's desk and I told her no. Then she yelled at me "You're going to make me mad!" The police officer asked her why she was going to get mad at her Mom and she said "Because she's mean!" I was so embarrassed! When we finally got in the car I was fuming! I drove to the library to see if Alexis was ready to leave yet. Jennifer said she could stay the night so Anoe and I left. Anoe cried the entire way home! I was so mad I couldn't even talk to her. I just kept praying God would help me. My step-mom called and wanted to know if we wanted to meet for dinner since she was in town. Anoe and I went, and my brother and his wife came also. It was fun. Symantha pretty much maintained Anoe so I didn't have to deal with her. When we did get home Anoe had to go to her room and I stayed out in the living room watching TV. I still couldn't bring myself to pop Anoe. I was still so mad with her.

The rest of the week went a ot better! I think she had to get used to all the new stuff. She's been going to the same daycare since she was two. So this whole starting school is a major thing in her world. At daycare the kids took a 2 1/2 to 3 hour nap every day and now at school they only have a 30 minute rest period. It takes Anoe at least 30 minutes to just calm down and get settled. So I know she's not taking a nap anymore. I'm really trying to take all this in consideration, but sometimes it's so hard!

Alexis- Loves her new school. Of course she has a lot of new friends. She is a social butterfly after all. Her teacher is super sweet and she really likes everything about her new school. On the first day of school as we were chasing Anoe across the street she said "This was the best day ever!" I was so happy to hear that. I've been so worried about how the whole move would affect her. (In retrospect I should have been worrying a little more about Anoe) Alexis made friends with a little boy that she kind of knew from church. His name is Trenton. (I'm not sure if I spelled his name right) They've talked on the phone everyday since Tuesday! He even sat with her during worship on Sunday. There's really not much to tell about Alexis first week of school. Pretty uneventful. She's really happy and everything is going good so far!

Meet the teacher...

Thursday was meet the teacher in Clyde. The girls were totally pumped about this! Anoe absolutely detests the daycare. And Alexis doesn't care to much for it either. So we got to the Elementary about 5:40 and went in to meet Anoe's teacher. Anoe has Mrs. Caffey. She was really sweet! I found out later that she's a member of the Methodist church in Clyde. I love it when my kids have christian teachers! It makes things so much better. Last year Alexis' teacher was a Pastor in Hamby (I think that's the town). It was really awesome. She actually encouraged the kids to pray during the day. One time around Christmas this past year Alexis actually asked the whole class to stop so they could pray! I love that Alexis wasn't afraid to ask everyone to pray and I love that her teacher encouraged it! OK but anyways back to meet the teacher... Anoe really liked her teacher and she really liked her classroom. She even made a friend. She had the biggest smile ever on her face when she found her chair with her name on it. I really should have taken a camera but I forgot to bring one. After meeting Anoe's teacher, we went to the Intermediate school to meet Alexis' teacher. Alexis has Mrs. Volks. She's new to Clyde this year, but she was really sweet too. She even knew who Troy from High School Musical was. That's some major points in our family. We're major HSM fans! Alexis class was really neat looking too. Alexis likes her teacher also.

Earlier today Jennifer and I were talking about how much less stress I'm going to have this year since my kids are going to school in Clyde. I won't have to rush to Abilene to make sure I pick them up by 6:00. And on Tuesdays the library in Clyde is open until 6:00 so we'll be able to go to the library every Tuesday after work. And I'll be able to stay the night with Jennifer sometimes, so that'll help save some gas. I really hated feeling all rushed after work! I don't have to worry about that at all now.

I'm also going to start going back to Curves this Tuesday! I haven't been since we got back from vacation back in June. I know, I know, I know, there is no excuse! So I'm not even going to try and make one. I was just being lazy and didn't feel like going. But not anymore! I will NOT fail this time!

I'll post soon about their actual first days. Hopefully I'll have pictures to go with it!

Embarrassing Alexis

When I was a little girl I always said to myself that when I had children I would never embarrass them like my Mom did to me. Well, as it turns out I was wrong. I embarrassed Alexis. I didn't mean to, but I did.

A couple of weeks ago the girls and I went out to dinner with my brother, Katie, Breanne (a friend of Katie and Joeys) and Breanne's 13 year old brother Blake. We went to Ta'Mollys and after we all ordered our drinks and a bowl of queso we were talking and whatever. When the waitress brought our drinks, she put Alexis and Anoe's drinks in styrofoam cups. Usually this is not a problem. Alexis doesn't really like it but if she gets a styrofoam cup it's not like the world is about to end or anything. This time was different. She whispered in my ear "Why did she give me a little kid cup. I'm a big girl!" We weren't ready to order so the waitress left for a minute. Katie asked what Alexis was so upset about and I told her. Katie said that she noticed that Alexis kept looking and smiling at Blake. Of course I then realized why Alexis wanted a "big girl" cup. So I asked Katie to ask the waitress for a "big girl" cup for Alexis. So when Katie asked the waitress she (the waitress) looked a little confused. So I thought I would help and tell the waitress that Alexis wanted a "big girl" cup tonight. Everyone at the table (even my brother who is usually clueless) just looked at me like I was crazy! Alexis yelled "Mom!!" and everyone started laughing at me. I didn't mean to embarrass her, I was just trying to explain why the styrofoam cup wasn't OK. I felt really bad for Alexis. She of course got over it, but that was a memory I'll cherish forever!

Oh and by the way, Blake really was a cute little boy. He plays football and track at I think so he was pretty buff for a little kid. He of course never really paid much attention to Alexis. She is only 10 after all. And he has a sister the same age, so he probably knows how 10 year old little girls are.

My first girls night out!

This past Friday was my very first girls night out! When I first read on there that Francesca was wanting to have another girls night I thought it would be fun to go. But I usually don't get to go because of my babysitting issues. Well Jennifer said she would keep my kids so I could go. When I told my friend Cherry she said she would keep my kids if Jennifer and I both wanted to go. That was really awesome. But Jennifer kept the kids so I got to go all by myself. Which is way out of my comfort zone! We were meeting at Texas Roadhouse and I got there before everyone else. While I was sitting there waiting for everyone I started feeling nervous and anxious. I was way out of my comfort zone, I can be around new people if Jennifer's with me but not so much by myself. Francesca, Pam, Rachel, and Cherith were the first ones I saw. As soon as I saw Francesca my nerves were put to ease. I'm totally comfortable with Francesca, Pam, Rachel, and Cherith! Then came Ashley, Ginny, Kelly, and Christy. I already knew everyone except Christy. By the time we were leaving I was so glad that I got to go. I called Jennifer on my way back to her house and told her my face was hurting from smiling and laughing so much! It was so awesome.

Lots of stuff going on...

This past Tuesday (7th) I registered my kids for school in Clyde. I was so nervous about it. I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision with Alexis. I would pray and feel OK about it then I would start feeling nervous again. Well when I got down there to the school to register her I totally felt at peace. I had to talk with the lady that is in charge of the Special Education program. As it turns out, Alexis is going to be mainstreamed this year! Everyone that attends Clyde Intermediate gets tested on their reading level at the begining of the school year! Everyone!! So that means if she's at a 3rd grade reading level then that's what she'll read at and if the kid next to her is at a 5th grade reading level that's where they'll read at. (Although I do have to say that Alexis and I have been praying that she is totally healed of ALL reading problems!) I'm so excited about her being totally mainstreamed! She is so funny and outgoing that she really doesn't have any problem making friends, but I know how mean kids can be. I remember how kids used to pick on other people in our grade just because the were in Special Ed. I don't want that for Alexis. She has lots and lots of self confidence and I don't want anyone to ruin that for her.

Registering Anoe was a little sadder (not sure if that's really a word) for me. This will be her first time in school. And she's my baby! It feels like she's growing up so fast but at the same time she's staying my cute cuddling baby. She is the most affectionate person I have ever met! I've even told Jennifer that sometimes it feels like I'm being molested by her! She's always touching, kissing, telling me how much she loves me, how beautiful my hair is, etc... I really do appreciate all of her compliments, but sometimes it'd be nice to just sit next to her without her touching me all the time. But anyways, she's starting school this year and she's really excited about it.

Saturday I went to the water park in North Richland Hills again. This time it was me, my kids, Jennifer, her kids, Cherry, Mike, Mason, Bridgett, Lura, and Bridgett's two step-kids. We all had a lot of fun!! I even got on a ride I refused to ride last time we were there. I didn't really get on it because I wanted to but more because I have a hard time saying no to Jennifer. I'm really glad Jennifer made me do it though. Anoe and I rode the ride together and the whole time we were on it I was screaming! Anoe just sat there smiling. Before we could even get off the raft she was asking to go on it again. It's crazy what a dare devil that little girl is.

We all got pretty good sunburns! Anoe's sunburn has already tanned over pretty much. I can not believe how well that little girl tans! Mason too! While at the water park Anoe was looking for Alexis and Jennifer said just look for the little boy who looks black but he's really not. Mason has the best tan ever. A lot of people sit out for hours trying to get his tan! It's pure craziness.

Strangers

Last Friday the church Jennifer works at went to watch the Texas Rangers play in Arlington. When I first heard about the game and that anyone could go I was really excited. When we were kids living in El Paso we used to go to watch the Diablos play all the time. I loved it! I don't really like watching baseball on T.V., but I love it in person. I think it's the whole guy going up and down the aisles yelling "hot dog, get your hot dog!" and soda, cotton candy, ice cream just everything. The noise, the wave, singing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game", the billboard, you get it just everything about it! So anyways when Jennifer told me the price (only $15 a ticket) I was pumped. I thought I could afford $45 for us to go to the game. But then I started thinking about how much it would cost for food and drinks and stuff. So I was like never mind I don't really want to go. I gave Jennifer my usually excuse "Anoe will be to hard to control". I mean really, it's a baseball game, you're suppose to be acting wild. I just knew I couldn't afford it and if I told Jennifer that she would try to convince me otherwise. But that was my excuse. Then the Wednesday before the game Jennifer called me and said that a lady that attends the Methodist church was paying for my tickets to go to the game. I told Jennifer I really didn't want to go then she gave me this guilt trip so I finally said yes I'd go. I prayed about it and God told me that I shouldn't be acting this way. I'm being blessed with free tickets so I should go and enjoy myself. So I started getting totally excited about it. The whole way up there I kept saying how excited I was. (I think I was getting of Jennifer's nerves with my excitement but she should really be used to it by now) So anyways, the game was awesome. I had a hot dog and the girls had popcorn, a pretzel with cheese, and cotton candy. Jennifer got some garlic fries that were amazing! Even if I had a boyfriend/husband I don't think I would of been kissed all night! They were good though. So the other team was winning 3-0 but in the 9th inning the Rangers made to homeruns! It was so exciting. We were all jumping up and down screaming. I bought the girls foam fingers and they were waving them around. Oh my goodness it was so amazing! The Rangers lost by one point, but it was so much fun!

The girls and I sometimes do this little thing where we put our hands together and say "2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate! ___________" We do Anoe first, the Alexis, then me or whatever we're excited about. Well Anoe kept wanting to do it for the Rangers. Except she kept calling them Strangers instead. It was so cute. She can't wait to go watch the "Strangers" again.

Pictures

The first four are of Alexis getting baptized this past Sunday!




These are from our vacation. I still don't have all of them but here's a couple. Isn't the ocean just beautiful? (In case you didn't know, I loved it!)

Attacks

So lately I've been feeling really attacked. For the past week and a half I have been super upset about some stuff that I usually don't care about. I mean I care, but not enough to get upset and cry about it. I've always felt that God will take care of it when the time is right. But lately I've been really feeling discouraged about a lot of different stuff. I know I'm kind of being evasive about what I'm upset about, but I'm not really sure I'm ready to admit this hurt out in the open yet. Well yesterday on my way to work I was thinking about how yucky I had been feeling about this and then all of a sudden I just realized it was an attack! It's not as bad as I was making out to be. God has a perfect plan for me that will happen at the most perfect time!

On another note- Update on Alexis:
She stayed with my Mom on Thursday and Friday. Thursday was pretty rough but she started feeling a lot better on Friday. My Mom and Symantha brought her to Abilene to do some shopping and go out to lunch and she did fine. Then Friday evening when I got there after work she was doing good. She was even "examining" me. I asked her where she had learned all the stuff she was doing and she said "Grey's Anatomy". Just as matter of fact as she could. It was really cute. She went outside for a little while to play with her sister and cousins. But then about an hour later she started feeling bad again. Her fever came back and she started coughing more. My Mom thought maybe she had done to much. So for the rest of the evening she rested. Saturday morning her fever was still there, so I called the doctor's office and they were able to get her in at 10:15. He took a urine sample but still couldn't figure out why her fever and cough were still present. (With 5th disease the fever should have subsided after 72 hours) He said to just keep giving her Motrin and Tylenol and he gave me something for the cough but said he didn't really want to suppress the cough unless he knew what was causing it. I was so frustrated it was crazy! I was able to get her fever to stay pretty low all day Saturday but she really wasn't doing much except laying in bed and sleeping. We didn't go to church on Sunday because I didn't think she would be able to make it through the whole sermon without getting cranky. And since she still did have a fever, I didn't want her infecting anyone else. Sunday evening she started feeling better though. She even got up and ate a little bit and played with Anoe for a little bit. Monday morning she didn't have a fever so I took her to daycare. The daycare called me at 11:30 to tell me she had a low grade fever. I went and got her and she slept all afternoon at my work. She was only awake for about an hour. I've talked to two different people that know quite a bit about 5th's disease and they both said that the fever should be gone. The only symptom at this point should be the rash that can last for up to 6 weeks. But there is no rash! Her cheeks get a little pink every once in awhile but nothing major. I'm so frustrated about the whole thing. It's been 5 days and she still has a fever and the doctor can't tell me anything. He said if she still has the fever on Wednesday then bring her back in. This way falls under being attacked! Nothing makes me feel worse than my kids not feeling well.

Monday night was pretty tough on Alexis. She had a really hard time sleeping because of all the coughing she was doing. But as of right now, no fever! Yay! She's had to come to work with me today because she can't go back to daycare until she has been fever free for 24hrs! Hopefully tomorrow she'll be able to go back to daycare. I know her sister will be very excited about that! Today makes one week since she's been there for a full day.

OK one more topic and I'll be done. Totally off the topic of being attacked though. At my work there is a small room in the back that is used for storing cleaning supplies, has some old filing cabinets that have stuff from back in 1991-1998, and a treadmill that the Judge uses. I'm going to clear it out and reorganize everything so we can have a break room! This way sometimes during lunch I can just sit back there and read a book or whatever. I'm really pumped about this!

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My sick baby

Tuesday morning Alexis had a pretty high fever and a little bit of a cough. So I gave her some Children's Motrin and let her go with me to work. I called her doctor when they opened at 9:00 a.m. They were able to see her at 10:30! So we went to the doctor and they tested her for strep but it came back negative. The doctor said that he couldn't find anything wrong with her. He said if she still had a fever on Friday to call and make an appointment for Saturday morning. But he didn't have a diagnosis for her. She was OK until around 4:00. Her fever started coming back and her cheeks were getting a little red. I went and bought a thermometer so I could see exactly how high her fever was. When we got home it was 100.6. I gave her some more Motrin and she took a cool bath. After awhile she started feeling better again. We watched a little Grey's Anatomy and went to sleep.

Then this morning at 3:30 Alexis woke me up again and told me she didn't feel good. She was coughing A LOT! I took her temp and it was 102.4. I gave her some more motrin and something for her cough. I checked her temp again about 20 minutes later and it was up to 103.2 so I called my Mom (who is a nurse in Sweetwater and works the night shift) and asked her if she thought I should go ahead and take Alexis to the ER. She said I should take her out to Sweetwater to go to their ER and then Symantha would keep her today for me. I got Anoe up and dressed and we left for Sweetwater. They drew blood since she had already had a strep test the day before. The doctor said there was a little fluid in her left ear but it wasn't infected. He diagnosed her with Fifth Disease. So there's really nothing that I can do for her except keep her fever down with Motrin.

Please pray that Alexis begins feeling better soon! And pray for me too, I'm pretty tired right now and I get really cranky when I'm tired. Maybe I'll try to take a nap during lunch.

Gold Digger

I didn't really want to post this with my previous post because this is way to awesome to be put with any other post!

Yesterday at church during our service our pastor had us do an excercise called digging for gold. You look into someones eyes for a certain amount of time and look for the "gold" in them! Everyone has some gold they don't know about. I thought it was a little wierd but it wasn't that bad. The first excercise we had to get a partner and look into their eyes for 30 seconds. It wasn't that bad for me. I was with Dana Bell. I don't really know her that well but I have talked to her a couple of times. So anyways, we had to look into each others eyes, and be open to hear God. Then at the end of the 30 seconds, we told the other person what we saw or what God told us. It was good! Dana said that she saw me singing and that I was very compassionate with my singing. I've really struggled with the whole singing and dancing thing. I so do not have a pretty singing voice and have absolutely no rhythm at all! Something I learned at the BFW this year is that no one is paying attention or going to make fun of me if I'm off beat or sing like a dieing cow. It's beautiful to God and that's what matters!

Then the second time we had to find a partner that we did not know. That was pretty for me. I was partners with this lady that was totally awesome! I forgot her name already though. But she had an awesome word for me! The first thing she asked me was if I had children. (My kids were not at church with me, they had stayed with their Aunt Lisa and Uncle Chad.) I of course said yes. Well she said that she saw that I was a really good mom and a hard worker! That was so awesome for me! I'm constantly struggling with wether or not I'm a good mom or if I'm doing things right. And for her to say that, it was just amazing! I left church feeling really good!

And to think I almost didn't go to church yesterday because I was thinking that I really needed to save all the gas I could! This was way worth it! And I know everything will work out! I love my God!

Praise You In This Storm

Saturday afternoon I started really thinking about this song Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns. It's one of my favorites! I have it on my phone for whenever Scott calls. Everytime I hear this song it makes me realize how much I have to be thankful for. I'm so glad God gives me storms to go through! See how much he trusts me! I've heard that saying "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" like a thousand times. It's so true! I know right now I'm struggling and not having very much fun with this whole thing, but I know God has a plan for me and He is going to make a way for us! But let me tell you, sometimes I wish God would let me in on His plans! It would cut back on the amount of tears and stress in my life! I'll just keep listening to this song though!

Life

For the last couple of weeks I've been in a really good. Everything was going great, I was getting a handle on my finances. I was in a good place in my life. Better than ever before. I had to buy new tires for my car unexpectedly, and I was still OK financially. I knew I needed to buy at least one tire which I expected to be about $50.00, but I really needed to replace all four tires. That ended up being $265.14. Way more than I anticipated spending, but I was able to do it and take care of my bills. It made it a little tight, but hey I was OK and I didn't have to ask my Mom for help! I was super pumped about this. I knew God would provide for us. I totally didn't have any extra money to do anything. Well that same weekend, my Mom gave me $50.00. God was so at work there! That gave us some extra money in case we wanted to go watch a movie or get an ice cream or just whatever. I had forgotten about a bill, so that made things even tighter. But we were still OK.

Then on Wednesday when we were at Nelson Park waiting to watch the fireworks, Anoe had to go to the bathroom. So I took her over there. And who did I see? Jason! Alexis' dad. They haven't seen or called Alexis since her birthday! And that was almost two months ago. I know he saw me because I could see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I didn't talk to him because I'm a little irritated with the situation. It's been two months and they haven't even called to make sure she's doing OK. I know they're having a hard time, but really they've never had 50 cents to call in the last two months? Yeah I seriously doubt it. I know I'm totally not acting very christian with this, but darn it she is worth a little effort on their part! I've gone way above and beyond what I should to help them. After seeing him I kind of got in a little funk.

On Thursday Jennifer came over for a little while to visit. We talked about my attitude towards the situation some. She's probably right, I should take a more Christian approach to it. Needless to say I was not in a very good mood Thursday. Then on Friday when I was leaving for work I noticed that the "battery" light was on in my car. Everything was working fine though. The battery just got replace late last year too. So I thought maybe the light was just messing up or maybe a fuse or something. Of course the only thing I know about cars is where to put gas. So my diagnoses of course is not very accurate. Well, Friday evening I was taking the girls to the drive in to see Ratatouille, well when after my headlights were on for awhile the lights on the dashboard stopped working. The gauges weren't working either. So I pulled over to see maybe if it was just a fuse. (By the way, Anoe's dad was with us because he was supposed to be taking the girls to the movie. And he can't take them without me being there. I totally don't trust him alone with my kids. Not that he would do anything to harm them. But his idea of what is OK for my children to hear and see and my idea of what is OK for them to hear and see are totally different.) So he replaced a fuse and we thought everything would be OK. I was just going to take him home since I was having problems with my car and I was going to go home then take my car to Auto Zone in the morning so they could test the battery. That didn't happen though. We didn't even get out of the parking lot before the car died. I called my brother and he said he would come and get me. We got it started again, but only went about a block. My brother said he didn't know whether it was the battery or the alternator. I praying it's just the battery. So I had to park my car at Harbor Freight for the night. My brother gave Scott a ride home, then took the girls and me home. He let me use his car today so I could do whatever I needed to do while he's at work. When he gets off at noon we're gonna try to get it to start and take it down to Pep Boys.

I was talking to Jennifer earlier and I told her that I haven't felt the way I'm feeling right now in a really long time. I'm having all these feelings of hopelessness and just yuckyness. I do not like feeling this way!!! All I want to do is lay in my bed and cry. I really need prayers!



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Oh I almost forgot this part! We found out yesterday that my brother and his wife are expecting a baby!!! That was one good thing to happen. And I get to paint and decorate the babies room! I'm really happy about this!!! So I guess not everything is going bad right now!

The 4th of July!!!

I love the entire 4th of July holiday. I love everything about it. What it stands for, what we're celebrating, time off of work, paid time off of work! I really try to make a point of telling the girls why exactly we're celebrating. Not just because it's a Wednesday and we get to sleep in. But the real reason. How lucky we are to have the freedom we do. And how many people have died and will die to give us this freedom. I want my girls to grow up loving and appreciating what they have. All to often we take for granted all the freedoms we have. I think in part that is why I'm so interested in the war and other countries that don't have our freedom. It makes me even more thankful for what I have.

Now, onto another note. I so want to know what everyone is doing for the holiday. My girls and I are going over to my friend Cherry's house for an all day swim/BBQ party. Then in the evening we might go to Nelson Park to watch the fireworks. Not really sure about the evening yet. Oh and we plan on sleeping in and doing a little happy dance! We get to sleep in, hang out with friends all day, and I'll be getting paid for it! This is so the life for me!!!

NRH2O

This past Saturday my kids and I went to the North Richland Hills water park. It was so much fun! It was way family friendly! The girls had so much fun. Anoe's favorite "ride" was the Endless River. I think she liked it so much because she was able to swim under water with her sister. Alexis' favorite ride was the Accelerator. It's a type of slide where you lay on a mat and race down to the bottom. I didn't personally go on it but both of the girls had great big smiles on their faces when they got off. Jennifer and I are planning on going August 11th. I called my brother and hopefully him and Katie will also join us. My awesome friend Cherry and her family might also come. It's going to be so much fun! Now I have something else to get excited about!!!

Vacation

Oh my goodness! I LOVE the beach! It was so awesome. Words don't even begin to describe how beautiful and awesome it was! OK now that I got that out of my system, let me get down to all the details.

DAY 1: TUESDAY
We had planned on leaving Tuesday at noon. Jennifer was going to get off of work at 10:00 to finish a few loose ends and I was getting off at noon. My boss let me leave at 11:00! (Have I mentioned that I have the best boss ever?) OK, so we're getting ready to leave and Jennifer's car won't start. It ended up that her battery was dead and just needed to be charged. We took it down to a local mechanics shop here in Clyde to make sure it was OK. He said it was fine so off we went. We ate at What-a-burger and we were on the road at 1:23! (I was really hoping to be on the road by 1:00 so leaving only being 23 minutes late isn't so bad for us!) So we took TX 36 down to Houston. It was a really beautiful ride! The kids were super good and we made awesome time. My Mom met us in Houston so we could just follow them down to Crystal Beach so we wouldn't get lost or confused. Let me tell you, my Mom's directions suck! So we were pretty confused most of the time. Going over the bridge from Houston to Galveston was amazing! We ate dinner at some place called Saltgrass I think. I don't really know, I was more interested in getting to the beach. By the time we got to the ferry it was dark. I thought we should just stay in the car but nobody else thought so. We went to the top to look out over the edge. Well everyone else did, I kind of clung to the walls. I was totally scared! After the ferry ride from H-E-double hockey sticks, we went to the beach house. It was wonderful! My Mom, Symantha, me and all of the kids went down to the beach. It was dark of course but we could hear the waves and we did get in just far enough for our feet to get wet. It was so much better than I remembered it being.

DAY 2: WEDNESDAY
I had wanted to wake up before sunrise so Anoe and I could watch the sun rise together but that so did not happen. When I did wake up (7:30) I woke up Anoe and asked her if she wanted to go to the beach. She popped right up and said yes. We woke up Alexis and quietly got dressed. I didn't want to wake Jennifer and her kids up. We went down to the beach and it was even better than the night before! We played in the water for awhile and just had fun together. My Mom and Symantha had bought everyone boogie boards so that was a lot of fun too. All of the kids had life jackets so the boogie boards were only for fun. We went out past where the waves were breaking and would let the ocean take us back in. My cheeks were hurting from all the smiling and laughing! Later in the day when it was Low Tide Jennifer and I took the kids out again. We went way out! I don't know how far exactly but when we would look back at the car it was really small. We were able to stand up still! Then all of a sudden the water got really rough and we couldn't stand up anymore. We agreed that we needed to get back in. Well instead of the ocean taking us back in, it was taking us farther out. It was so scary! Nobody even knew we were out there. My Mom and Symantha had gone looking for crabs or something. Just imagine Xander playing with the boogie board like he's riding it or climbing on Jennifer's back or mine. Anoe's wasn't feeling very good and the medicine was wearing off so she was just kind of there. And every time we tried swimming towards shore with the waves, we got pulled back out more. Yeah I was a little freaked out. I found out later Jennifer was scared too. So anyways, we obviously made it to shore and are OK. We learned our lesson about going out to far.

DAY 3: THURSDAY
We went to the beach again in the morning! Then after lunch we rode the ferry to Galveston. The ride was much better this time! My Mom and Symantha went to do something and we took the kids to do something else. We parked on Seawall and walked down to the beach there. It was so different than at Crystal Beach! We were within 250 feet of a pier so we couldn't get in the water. But that was OK. We walked up the shore line a little and found some crabs. We also got to see some sand flees! Not really exciting but in my world it was. Jennifer had bought Kalista some flip flops at the store earlier in the day but they were way to small! So went walked across the street to buy her some shoes that would actually fit her. We also picked up a couple of souvenirs at the store. We went back across the street and thought we would walk out on a pier to look around. Before we could even make it to the gate we were assaulted by the worst smelling crap ever! I don't know what it was but it was awful! It was a pier to fish off of so they charged. And since we had absolutely no interest in fishing we didn't go after all. On the way back to Crystal Beach we stopped and Ben & Jerry's. I got the best ice cream ever made! It's called caramel chunk I think. It was amazing! It was so good I think it must be the only ice cream offered in Heaven! Yeah it was that good!

DAY 4: FRIDAY
My brother, Joey, and his wife, Katie, got in Friday morning sometime around 2:30. Joey, Katie, and I walked down to the beach so they could put their feet in like we had done our first night. When we woke up again, Joey, Anoe, Alexis and I went down to the beach to meet my Mom and Symantha. Joey and I went in with the boogie boards and when the waves would come in we would slam into them. It was so much fun. After awhile Katie, Jennifer, Kalista, and Xander came out. It was so much fun playing with everyone. For lunch we all went to this place called Stingarees. It was so neat there. They had a sign saying that alligators were present! As it turns out the alligators are only there during March and April, but still it was cool. We saw a jelly fish there too. And Xander found a crab on the grass. That night all of the adults played a couple games of Skip Bo. (Katie and I ate some heavenly ice cream!)

DAY 5: SATURDAY
Once again we started the day off at the beach. My Mom got in on the wave action this time. There was a lot of sea weed so Anoe was a little freaked out and wouldn't go in the water. She stayed and played in the sand with Symantha. Alexis came out with us a couple of times but the waves were really strong and it was hard for her so she only stayed out for a little while. You could see the storm coming. It was crazy (in a good way) looking. Symantha, Anoe, and I went up to the house to make lunch. While we were gone Katie actually saved Kalista's life! The waves started getting really rough and Kalista didn't have her life jacket on because her and Alexis were playing close to the shore. I'm not sure exactly how it all happened because I wasn't there, but somehow the waves were hitting Kalista and she could get out from under them to breath and Katie went and saved her! Another major reason I love Katie so much! That afternoon I had decided I had gone long enough without a Carmel Marchiatto. I usually have one 2-3 times a week. And I was going on 9 days without one! Yeah it's an addiction. So Jennifer, all the kids and I went to Galveston in search of a Starbucks. Joey and Katie were on they're way also so we met up. We went to Starbucks which was located in an awesome spot! We walked down a block and all of us took a buggy ride through the historic district. The tour guide was crazy! With the kids right there he was cussing at the horse and calling it stupid. It was bizarre! When he said stupid Anoe turned around and said "He said the "s" word." (Stupid is a bad word in our family) And Xander repeated the part the guy said about the horse having it's head up it's butt. Except the guy said a different word for butt. We (the adults) were trying to hold back our laughter. It was just the craziest most bizarre thing ever! When we were almost done with the buggy ride we saw some people gathered and we thought someone was break dancing because of the music. But it was this guy that was spray painting! I've seen one on the internet before and it was so cool. I bought one of the paintings! Joey is going to make me a frame for it! It was so awesome. It was pretty late when we headed home, but we had a lot of fun!

DAY 5: SUNDAY
We woke up to the chairs on the porch being blown around. The storm that was coming in was beautiful to watch. We hurried down to the beach so we could get some pictures before we left. On the way back to the beach house it started to rain. I started to walk faster so I wouldn't get to wet, oh no that's not how it worked out! It started raining so hard so fast it looked like we all had just jumped in the ocean with our clothes on! It was crazy. It takes the ferry about 20 minutes to make it from one side to the other with maybe a 5 or 10 minute wait. (Longer if after 10:00 p.m. when there is only one ferry running) It took us 2 hours to get across! The line was crazy. I think they were backed up because of the storm that had just come through. I don't know for sure but it took forever to get off the island!

We had a nice trip back. Everyone was tired and ready to get out of the car! This vacation was just what I needed in my life right now. I was able to spend a lot of time with God when I was just floating around in the ocean. It was humbling to just look at the great ocean he had created! And the beautiful storms coming in off the ocean were beautiful to watch.


I'll post pictures as soon as I get them!

My OCD

Anybody that really knows me, knows how much I love for stuff to have a pattern. When I used to work at Becker's Loft my sister and I would literally argue over what menus should be on what table and in what order. All of the menus were identical except for the color of the paper! She so did not care if a table for four had two yellow, one pink, and one orange menu. That so did not work for me! There had to be some kind of order. They all had to be one color, or there could be two of each color or, well, you get the point. There had to be order!!! I'm like this with everything. My DVD's are in alphabetical order, my kids clothes are all hung up with a pair of shorts/pants and shirt on the same hanger. I even went so far as to separate all of Anoe's panties once. All the pinks were in a pile, the whites in a pile, the ones with designs in a pile, and then all of the pastel colored ones with no design in a seperate pile. (These piles didn't last long once Anoe went to get dressed.) It's just craziness. I've gotten a lot better about the DVD's though. I would be in such a bad mood if the movies got out of order. Now I'm just happy if Anoe puts them back with the title showing! Whenever I get really stressed though I still re-organize the DVD's.

Now, what I meant to write about here was my upcoming vacation. We are leaving June 12th at noon to spend a week at Crystal Beach! (Down by Galveston) I'm so excited about this. My kids have never been to the ocean. (This next part Jennifer can never know about. I know she reads this, but I'm just going to pretend that she doesn't!) I have made so many different lists for this vacation it's crazy. It's almost getting on my own nerves! I have a list for what each child will wear each day, what she will sleep in, what shoes go with what outfit. I have a list of exactly where we will stop on the way down there to eat/gas up/stretch our arms and legs, and how long we can spend at each place. I even have printed out three different maps on how to get to where we're going. I have a detailed list of what we will eat for each meal, when we will eat it, and when I need to start cooking so the meal is ready on schedule. Of course I have some other lists for the bedding and toiletries, but I think you get the point of how detailed my lists are. But these lists are necessities, right? Why can't I just let go and enjoy this? In my last post I wrote how much I enjoyed going on "adventures" but I can't just let myself not plan this! When I first started my lists (about 3 months ago) Jennifer told me to stop. She said we would just stop when we needed to and get there when we got there. I mean come on! I NEED order!!! I strive off of order.

I have this major problem with control. Obviously! So, when I get home tonight I'm going to throw away all the "major-can't-live-without" lists! I'll let the kids pick out a couple of outfits, I'll pack them up and not worry about forgetting something. What's the worst that could happen? I mean OK, even if I forget to pack panties or a toothbrush, shampoo or whatever, there's going to be a store right? Right. I'm gonna do this and this vacation is going to be so much fun!

So if anyone wants to pray that I'm able to actually throw away a list or two, that would be great!:)

Adventures and chasing the rain

You know how sometimes you think back to your childhood and you actually remember something fun. Well most of my good childhood memories involves us "chasing the rain" or going on an adventure! Sometimes my Mom would pack all of us kids up (usually whenever she got in a fight with her boyfriend/husband at the time) and we would just go away for the weekend. We called these adventures. We never knew where we were going. We just left! It was like for those few days we got to live a different life almost. I'm not sure if my brother and sister remember it the same way or not, but in my world, we became people we only wished we could be all the time. It felt like people would look at us and say to themselves "Look at that loving family. They're so lucky to have each other." Chasing the rain was a lot of fun too. Growing up in El Paso we didn't really get a lot of rain. But sometimes when we could see rain off in the horizon, we would all pile up in the car and try to find where it was raining. We did this a lot when we lived in Alpine. It was so much fun! About a month ago when I was leaving the block party that was hosted by the Methodist Church here in Clyde, I could see where it was raining off someplace far away. It made me think of my childhood. I want my kids to have those good memories of us doing fun stuff together. So we set out to find the rain. It was a lot more fun than I remembered! The girls were so excited. We turned off the main highway and were going down some back roads somewhere, when I noticed that the road was muddy and not asphalt anymore. So I tried slowing down but we just kept going. The girls were laughing hysterically! We kind of got stuck, but we were able to get out without any help. Which is good since I have no clue where we were. We weren't able to find the rain, but we sure did have a lot of fun. Anoe still asks if we can chase the rain when she sees clouds in the sky. I love making good memories with my girls.

My Linguistic Profile

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English 20% Dixie 15% Yankee 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Learning from our children

Yesterday when I picked up the girls from daycare, Anoe had 3 things she wanted to tell me. Two were good and one was bad. I told her to tell me the bad first. She said Allie (who is the little girl that is constantly hitting people) was sick today. Anoe said that she felt sad that Allie was sick. She prayed for her before her Mom came to get her. I just looked at her with a blank stare. I was like, how is that a 5 year old can get what I've just learned this weekend? Instead of being happy that Allie was gone because she was sick, Anoe felt bad for her. I can not remember a single day that Allies's clip has not been moved! So it's not just Anoe she is a bully to. I want to be more like my 5 year old! The two good things she had to tell me was that she had her Graduation Ceremony today and she did wonderful. (of course) And that she was thinking about me and her sister.

Heaven

This was by far the best weekend of my entire life! And I know so many other amazing women agree with me! I left so much JUNK on the cross it's almost to crazy to believe! As soon as I walked away from the cross, I felt so much lighter. My heart didn't feel heavy with anger or any of that other junk I nailed up there. I can't come up with any words to describe what I feel except "awesomely wonderfully perfect". I had my first test Sunday night after we got home. Anoe's dad called, which is fine, but of course he wanted to talk to me. He wanted to know why I was so tired and asleep in the middle of the afternoon. I told him I had just gotten back from an awesome women's retreat. And he said "Oh, so you were out partying and drinking all night." Instead of getting angry and fighting with trying to convince him I'm not a bad mom, I just said "Yeah, I was drunk on the Holy Spirit almost all weekend!" I could just see God smiling at me!

One of the best things to happen to me this weekend was when I went to Heaven. Now at first, I just wasn't getting there. I sat down and started to pray for God to show me what to do. Then at that exact moment Krissy came by and whispered "Just believe". It was amazing! Then a few minutes later Brandi came and touched me! I went to Heaven!!! As I was looking around, it was kind of dark and cloudy. I asked God why it was so cloudy, and he said because it's the perfect weather for me! (I love it when it's cloudy outside!) I told God I only wanted one thing from Heaven. I told him I wanted Alexis to be healed of all her reading problems! He took me by the hand and led me to alittle park, there sitting on a bench was Alexis reading a book! Not a book with green overlays, or anything, she was reading ABOVE her reading level. I just knew she was reading at a 5th grade level! (She's going to 4th next year, but is at a early 3rd grade reading level) God told me he had already taken care of her, I was there for me!

I told Alexis and Anoe about this Sunday evening. Alexis said she wanted to go. (Of course who wouldn't, right?) Then she kept asking me all kinds of incredible questions. So last night when I picked her up from daycare, she told me that she didn't use her overlays at school yesterday and she only messed up on one word! I started crying while driving. And believe me I'm a pretty bad driver so it was pretty scary!

There's more to come, but it's time for me to go home and go back to Heaven!

Mother’s Day

Alexis made me the best gifts ever! They made me tear up to cry and then in the next line, I was laughing so hard I wanted to cry again!

M om is cool when the sun is shining behind her

O pen your heart & sing to God.

T oday is Mother’s Day and be happy.

H e is nice to fall in love with.

E very day I will love you to the bottom of my heart.

R ight when you fall asleep I will be there for you!

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1. What is a mother? A girl that had a baby
2. My mother’s name is Amanda Chavez.
3. She likes to watch Lost on T.V.
4. For fun my mother likes to read.
5. My mother likes to eat Chinese Noodles.
6. The thing my mother cooks the best is Chinese Noodles
7. If I were rich I would buy my mother a real diamond ring.
8. My mother doesn’t like to have another baby.
9. What I like most about my mother is nice, pretty, happy, and loving to God.

Alexis’ perspective of me is pretty much true, but funny when put in “10 year old” words!

Anoe

My sweet Anoe is not acting very sweet anymore! Until about a month ago she had never been in trouble at "school". (She really only attends a daycare, but she calls it school because they do learn there) Anyways, a couple of weeks ago she got her clip moved for the first time. I was really disappointed, but I thought it was her first time EVER being in trouble, so I only talked to her. Then that same week, she got in trouble again. It was a Friday and we were on our way to my Mom's for the weekend, so she had to wait an hour and a half before she even got her pop. So after that she was really good for like two or three weeks. Then this past Monday, she got her clipped moved again for talking during lesson time. When I got there to pick her up, the teacher told me she almost got her clipped moved a second time in one day for not listening. I was like what?!?! Not my Anoe. She's a very active five year old, but twice in one day is not my Anoe's typical behavior. She of course got a pop when we got home. Alexis had her school program on Monday so we had to go home so Anoe could get her pop before we could go get cookies for the program. Then yesterday when I pick up Anoe what did I find? Her clip moved again! I talked with her teacher and she didn't think Anoe deserved a pop because the girls Anoe was talking to were not suppose to be at Anoe's table and Anoe did behave exceptionally well the rest of the day. So instead of a pop, she had to go to time out. Now for Anoe this is even worse than a pop. At least with a pop she can still play with her toys or whatever. When she is in time out she has to stay on her bed or wherever I tell her with NO toys or anything! She's not allowed to talk either. This is like torture for her.

I told her that if she behaves today at school we'll go to a movie this evening. (I was already planning on taking them to a movie but they didn't know about it.) I'm just kind of at a loss as to what I should do. I really need prayers for this situation! I'm trying so hard to be a better Mom, but sometimes I get so frustrated I just don't know what to do!

Alexis' Birthday Party

Alexis' birthday isn't really until the 17th, but I'm leaving for the BFW on the 17th so we had her birthday party two weeks early. Oh my goodness, let me tell you how incredibly awesome it was! All day Saturday it was horribly humid!!!! Then about 6:00 p.m. a nice cool breeze started. Her party started at 6:30 and was at Nelson Park, so the breeze was much appreciated. We had the best turn out ever! Usually there's only one or two of her friends that show up along with me, Anoe, Jennifer, her kids, my brother, and sometimes my Mom and Symantha. Oh no not this time! Multiply that like by at least 5 maybe even 6! It was great! There were actually people there that were not related to her in any way! It was like one of those parties that you see on T.V. Like when the kids have friends and the parents are all stressed and running around making sure everything is going OK and trying to be a good host and socialize with everyone! Yeah that was our party! (OK really it was Alexis' party, but I'm way excited over her blessings!)

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Last night Alexis had her school program. She did awesome! The program was to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. So most of the songs were in spanish. She was able to sing almost all of the songs. After the program when I asked her what some of them meant she said: I don't know, I just did what Mrs. Graham said to do! I couldn't stop laughing. Anoe knew some of the hand movements from Alexis practicing so much at home. It was cute watching Anoe doing the movements with the kids up on the stage. I love evenings like this!

I am so blessed with the two beautiful children God has trusted me to raise!